Part Two II Cracking Open Old Wounds
[Red kept his eyes on his own hands, moving them up slowly to watch the fur slowly seep through his fingers.]
And by slacker, I hope you mean ‘busy.’ Sorry, but I don’t just casually hike fifteen miles a day anymore.
[The reply almost made the man want to smile. The corner of his mouth twitched just a little, but thats all it did before relaxing again. It was incredible how much a simple facial expression was so hard to do. He remembered everytime he would try to hide it he’d pull his lips back and bite at the bump of his inner cheek, often making the skin raw from how much he cut open the skin. He wasn’t trying to hide it from him this time, in fact he wanted to. Obviously it has been such a long time that he’s seen him, but double that they’ve been able to bicker and joke to one another. He just felt bad he still couldn’t for a small moment like this.]
[He could only hope that his friend didn’t mind any of this yet. There was too much to explain, but what was at hand right now must come first.]
[Red stopped fluffing up Arcanine’s fur and trialed Green as the male took the egg and sat with it in his lap. His eyes were fixated on it, watching the egg indeed violently shake as it was nearly about to hatch.]
[This was the day he anticipated for and finally for his recurring dream to come to an end.]
[He turned, but sat comfortably in the spot he’s in. He decided looking afar was probably for the best since he wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he was going to get, or even going to try to take away the egg as quickly as possible before he gets a chance to see anything. These several minutes were going to be long, a hand involuntarily clutching at his chest as his heart began to race.]
[When he opened his eyes when the bright lights passed, he blinked a few times to see the light brown Rattata that now sat upon Green’s lap. The small Pokemon wasn’t at all a surprise to him, but the coloring was. Shiny colorings were completely by chance, a hard to come by chance, so seeing it like this was really strange.]
[He doesn’t have a Rattata of his own so he wasn’t intentionally breeding for it, honestly he just picked up this egg from some kid off the road that didn’t know what to do with it. The Rattata was for a reason, just… It’s odd that the shiny colorings matched those of its evolution.]
[Why its a Rattata? Well Red wanted to give back the Pokemon Green had lost. The battle with Green at Lavender Town in the Pokemon Tower, what he said to him before battle was unsettling, plus the fact that his Raticate was not in his party when he remembers it was there during their previous battle at the S.S. Anne. Adding it all up to why Green was even in the tower in the first place, it could have only meant that Raticate was dead.]
[Red carried some of the blame to it, plus he thought it would’ve been a nice idea after so many years to start over with a new Rattata. But looking back to Green again to see his reaction, his stomach churned.]
That’s what this has always been about, hasn’t it?!
[All Red could process was that Green was angry and yelling at him. He was confused at what for..]
[What did he think this was about? What was Red’s plan? He was never there for Green? He was… mocking him?]
[He stood up and slowly stepped towards him.]
[What had gotten into him? Red had guessed he would be upset in one of the scenarios he played out in his head, but what was he even thinking? Sure Red left for a long while, but there was never a day where he didn’t think about his friends, especially Green. He cared about his best friend, wondering everyday if he was okay. Was he eating and sleeping well? He even heard about him becoming the Gym Leader and wondered if he was enjoying that. There was so many things he took away from him so that’s why he wanted to stay away. But to still say he was never there stung. Should he had stayed? Did him leaving only cause more problems?]
[If any of that, this should have been enough to maybe fix any of it. He wanted to give back one of the things he took away, not mock him.]
[Red was so confused.]
[A hand hesitated for a moment during the silence, but he kept it going to finally grip gently at his shoulder.]
…Are you okay?
[He knew he wasn’t, but it was the first question he could think of to ask.]
What… What are you talking about? This isn’t a joke.
[This was probably the first expression he has shown to anyone in awhile. His eyes were furrowed and his eyes actually looked straight into Green’s eyes with concern.]
Did I do something wrong?
It was amazing how just Red’s simple touch could bring Green reeling back to full consciousness— only because of how inciting his feel was. It filled him was a pitiful sort of disgust, which caused him to revolt immediately, smacking the man’s arm away before it had a chance to linger for very long. He did not meet Red’s gaze. His eyes looked nowhere in particular, but his head hung slightly, leaving them to fall on his lap.
“No— no, I’m not okay,” he hissed, voice low between rough, irregular exhales. He remained this way, silent aside from his heavy breathing. But, the longer he sat, the more rapid his his breaths became. Eventually, their intensity rose to the point that he began to bow over, bringing his head closer to his chest as he clenched at his sides, fixing his arms tightly into his stomach as an attempt to bate this fit he was having… But, it was to no avail. Green’s body trembled for a moment as he tried to contain himself, but he failed, his head shooting back up, eyes clenched, ready for another eruption:
"Nothing about this is okay!"
“How stupid do you think I am?! There’s no way you could think this was actually okay! You weren’t even supposed to know to begin with, damn it! You were never supposed to find out! No one was! But, you couldn’t even leave it at that, could you?! The satisfaction of knowing? Knowing that there’s no way I could ever compare to you because of it? No! No… you had to… bring it back to me— in the worst way possible… The one thing I just want to move past… you’re… never gonna let me forget…”
The longer he went, to weaker his voice became. What started as emotive shouting quickly became feeble, falling short until dying off completely as he became unable to speak once again.
Green’s throat ached awfully, strained from from both his outbursts and his suffocating attempts to hold himself back. It was uncertain which option would have actually been better for him, but it was too late for that. There was nothing he could have done, anyways. His eyes began to burn, and he knew that he’d reached his limit. He brought a hand up to his face, covering his eyes in order to hide himself— or perhaps, trying to hide from everything that was going on; trying to hide himself from the world like he did so often, like he’d been doing the day Red came back.
But, there was no hiding from this encounter, and he’d have to face it if he wanted to end it. At some point, he realized he didn’t really care if he cried. It was just weakness leaving the body, yeah? Well, he had plenty of it to shed, and Red has seen enough of it already. It didn’t matter anymore. So, he removed his hand, allowing his childish tears to fall as he looked Red in the face.
“…I always knew you’d use against me. Why wouldn’t you? It just proves what a failure I am, right?”
Somehow managing to relocate his voice, the man spoke up once again. But, it was weak, lacking the vigor that he possessed just a moment ago. His sounded pitiful. He looked pitiful. He was pitiful. He hated himself for reacting this way. He thought that he could have least made himself look strong, but he should have known he couldn’t, because he’s not. It was just another thing he’d failed to do. And, his losses were really starting to stack against him, now.
“I don’t need a reminder; I don’t need you to tell me, but here you are, anyways, doing just that, yeah? Great. Fantastic. I don’t need it, and I don’t need you.”
It was funny, really. At least, somewhere in the back of his mind, Green found it funny. He found himself to be hilarious. Laughable. Pathetic. He did need Red. He’d been the presence— the person— missing from his life for all of this time; a hole that couldn’t be filled by anything or anyone else. Green wasn’t close to many people. There was a select few that Green valued in his life, and that he swore he never wanted to be without… Because those few made him happy. Red was one of those few. Red had made him happy.
"…You were well aware of what you were doing….To purposely bring this the surface— something I’ve done so wrong— and present it to me so like this… The only thing you’ve done is make me miserable.”